I once hit a deer.

It was in a bar, and he was being mouthy. He said crude things to the girl I was with, so I punched him. I’m not proud of it. A brawl broke out, and things got scary when he started ramming me with his antlers. It’s a good thing he was young, as his antlers were quite small.

The police were called, and they arrested him. They let me off with a warning. Even I have to admit that the cops seemed a bit biased in the situation. I even felt a bit guilty as the police car drove away, lights flashing, with the deer tied to the roof.