Are you like me?

When you’re at someone else’s house, whether it be for a party with many people, or even if it’s just you and the host, and they offer you a drink and you accept, do you secretly wonder if the beverage they’ve just handed to you is poisoned? Not suspicion to the point where you’d pour it into a plant when they’re not looking or anything, but just a little question in the back of your mind.

And then of course, based on how well and how long you’ve known that person, your imagination has to try to support that possibility. Have they always had it in for you, and has your whole relationship up to this point always been a charade just to get you to this place of trust so they can off you? Or, if it’s someone you just met, are they somehow related to that fat kid you made fun of mercilessly in grade school? Wait…is this that kid?! No, that doesn’t make sense. He wouldn’t poison me. If he really wanted revenge, he’d probably chain me to some table and force feed me liquefied fudge over the course of two years until I was obscenely obese, and then set me free. UNLESS…the drink is his way of knocking me out so he can get me on the table.

That’s why, when I have someone over to my place and I offer him or her a drink, I’m always sure to hand it to them and say, “It’s not poisoned.” It’s just common decency.