This might be the golden age of standing up for things. Everyone has an opinion on everything, and there are more outlets than ever through which they can make those opinions known, loud and clear. The TV media seem to be clamoring for standpoints and soundbites to the point now that they’ll give almost anyone some airtime if that person has something unique to say, or at least looks pretty while saying it. We’ve become a society constantly on the lookout for something to ruminate upon and form an opinion about, the more extreme the better. No wrongdoing or irritation, no matter how slight, can go on without acknowledgment and having some attention drawn to it. No underrepresented segment of a population, or even an individual with a bone to pick, has any excuse for not being heard. After all, this is the age of the almighty blog.

Well, now that I’ve succumbed to this new age myself, I think it’s about time that I take a stand. I’m irritated by a lot of things, quite honestly, and I think I’ve finally built enough gumption concerning one particular thing be passionate enough to plant my feet and shout my feelings on it from the mountaintop.

I refuse to bag my own groceries.

I work eight hours a day, forty hours a week in order to earn the money to go to a grocery store, select what I want to buy, put it down on that movey-thingy, and have someone ring it up. Now, let me be clear: no matter how much my purchases begin to pile up on the other side, and if I happen to have chosen a checkout aisle that doesn’t currently have someone standing there waiting to retrieve my groceries and bag them, I will not be guilted into bagging them myself. Not by the checkout person, not by the people in line behind me who doubtlessly will have to wait a little longer, and not by anyone who happens to be with me. It’s something I simply refuse to do.

I’ve long been conscious of the fact that a grocery store will usually have fewer baggers on hand than open checkout lanes, causing a sort of musical-chairs situation. The baggers go where needed the most at any given time. That’s perfectly fine. What usually happens is a bagger will eventually notice my things piling up and come over to assist. But sometimes that doesn’t happen, and it’s left to the checkout person to bag them him or herself. That’s an unfortunate outcome, but not anything that would even come close to making me feel obligated to help.

I’m sure there will be those that find my views on the subject disagreeable and maybe even infuriating. “Where does he get off thinking he’s above bagging his own groceries?” they might ask. “Doesn’t he realize how hard those grocery baggers work for such little pay? Don’t they deserve all the help we can give them?” I will say that I do feel bad for them. And I do appreciate the job that they do. But we all have jobs to do, and while what I’m about to say may not be popular, it’s true: they should have done better in school if they didn’t want to bag groceries for a living. There, I said it, and I stand by it.

If any news outlets would like to press me any further on my potentially incendiary comments, please contact me at the email address I provided on my profile.